Sunny Bolton

Once again I'm finding myself spending a week in sunny Bolton. While G gets exciting trips to Monaco for work, I get to spend most of my summer in Bolton.

For those of you unfamiliar with Bolton, it's a small town near Manchester in the UK. According to that ever-reliable source, Wikipedia, the population of Bolton is 139,403. Wikipedia also helpfully states the following of Bolton:

"Noted as a former mill town, textiles have been produced in Bolton since Flemish weavers settled in the area during the 15th century, developing a wool and cotton weaving tradition. The urbanisation and development of Bolton largely coincided with the introduction of textile manufacture during the Industrial Revolution. It was a boomtown of the 19th century and, at its zenith in 1929, 216 cotton mills and 26 bleaching and dying works, made it one of the largest and most productive centres of cotton spinning in the world. After World War I the British cotton industry declined sharply and by the 1980s cotton manufacture had virtually ceased in Bolton.

Bolton is today noted for its Premier League football club Bolton Wanderers who play from the Reebok Stadium, with Reebok, the sportswear company, being based in the town."

Clearly the entry in Wikipedia is written by a Boltonian and all of the factors that make Bolton unique are kindly omitted from the entry. Below are 10 facts you won't find about Bolton on Wikipedia:

1. the finest eatery in Bolton is the "hot diggedy dog stand";

2. only 4.7% of teens in Bolton under the age of 18 became pregnant last year. I looked that up on the NHS webpage, because I was sure I must have seen every pregnant teen in Bolton by the end of my first day here. Either someone has very bad maths and that statistic is wrong or I literally have seen every pregnant teenager in Bolton;

3. a quick survey of the town confirmed that there is a very serious and tough competition going for the title of "town drunk";

4. there is no point trying to be understood if you have an Australian accent. Just use hand gestures and point to indicate what it is you are after;

5. notwithstanding the very small size of Bolton, the people here clearly appreciate some of the finer things in life, as there are lots of very nice shoes for sale. That, or the people of Bolton don't buy very nice shoes, meaning they all go on sale;

6. all of those working in the service industry are exceedingly nice. At least compared to the grumpy shop assistants in London;

7. the local Bolton newspaper makes the Daily Mail look highbrow;

8. being vegetarian in Bolton will either leave you very fat or very thin, as you will find you have only a choice of cheese pizza or salad for dinner. On the upside, as it is necessary to wash down every dinner in Bolton with a large quantity of wine, if you chose the salad option, dinner will also leave you very drunk;

9. the local tattooists are be very, very rich, judging by the numerous and prominent displays of their works; and

10. Too much time in Bolton will turn you into a very bitter and grumpy blogger!