Acclimatising

Childhood is regarded by most as an age of learning. At the very least, it's a period during which we adjust, or acclimatise, to most aspects of life. We learn about, and get used to, the concept of things that embarrass us. We develop from children giggling at the word "sex" to learning about its meaning (even if still grossed out by it), becoming teenagers who are greatly excited by seeing it on mainstream TV and, finally, hardened adults who aren't in the least bit titillated or bothered by Sex And The City.

However, there are some that we simply never acclimatise to and so find ourselves manifestly ill-equipped to deal with as adults.

Flatulence is one such thing.

As a child, I remember there was nothing quite so hilarious as when a child would accidentally fart in the classroom. However, back then we didn't use the word "fart" (which made several of us in my nice girls' school uncomfortable) but referred to them as "pop offs". After this early period, it seems people were divided into one of two extreme camps: those that in adulthood still find a fart hilarious (evident by the numerous fart scenes still appearing in movies) and those who find the whole thing too disgusting to even talk about out loud. No one that I know became acclimatised to, and comfortable with, farts. I know that I certainly haven't become acclimatised to them. Although, depending on the context, I alternate between the two camps: someone else's inappropriate and unintended noise will always be hilarious but any smell will make me both blush and gag.

My failure to get to grips with this issue has now come back to haunt me as I now find myself sharing an office with a farter. Thankfully, I'm not sharing a desk with the farter. But the poor colleague of mine who does share a desk with the farter is in a complete quandary. We can't even think of appropriate adult language to use to discuss this problem, and the phrase "silent but deadly" has been used, accompanied (I confess) by a great deal of giggling on my part. We don't know whether it's a medical problem or whether we can even ask - is farting something that you can raise with the farter or is it a no-go zone? Life has left me manifestly ill-equipped to deal with this current problem; I don't even know where to begin. How on earth does one deal with an office farter?