G and I are back from a wonderful week's holiday in Sharm el Sheik, Egypt. I would like to say that we immersed ourselves in Egyptian culture and traditions. In fact, we didn't leave the walls of the resort, finding ourselves enjoying the 8 swimming pools, private beach, crepe bars, ice cream stands and massages far too much to venture outside. Therefore, the only culture we absorbed were the Eastern European and German cultures, thanks to the other many weird and wonderful guests of the resort.
Amongst the cultural lessons learned, we discovered that the further East you go in Europe, the smaller and more outrageous men's bathing costumes become. While in the UK the bathing costumes are of an ordinary men's shorts' size, usually in muted colours, by Germany they have shrunk to very small and tight trunks, preferably in bright primary colours. By Russia, they have shrunk even further to minuscule speedo size, usually in lurid fluorescent colours, such as the man pictured above doing beach aerobics in fluorescent green speedos.
We also learned that there is a significant number of very white European men and woman who enjoy basking in the sun to an extreme degree; that when Berlisconi commented on Obama's "tan", he wasn't making an ill-advised joke, but having seen so many of his country men and women transform themselves from pasty white to brown perhaps really thought Obama's skin tone achievable to all. G and I received quizzical looks in response to our insistence on sitting in the shade, smothering ourselves in sunscreen and wearing floppy hats. While I lust for brown skin, I know my genetic limitations. The idea of shriveling my skin in the sun to the prune-like state required to achieve a deep brown did not seem worth it.
Finally, to my great joy and relief, I discovered that even the most beautiful and skinny Russian models have cellulite on their bottoms. I had more opportunities to examine bottoms than I wanted, thanks to the insistence of many a Russian on wearing thong/g-string bikinis.
All in all, it was a great holiday, with many valuable lessons learned.
We also learned that there is a significant number of very white European men and woman who enjoy basking in the sun to an extreme degree; that when Berlisconi commented on Obama's "tan", he wasn't making an ill-advised joke, but having seen so many of his country men and women transform themselves from pasty white to brown perhaps really thought Obama's skin tone achievable to all. G and I received quizzical looks in response to our insistence on sitting in the shade, smothering ourselves in sunscreen and wearing floppy hats. While I lust for brown skin, I know my genetic limitations. The idea of shriveling my skin in the sun to the prune-like state required to achieve a deep brown did not seem worth it.
Finally, to my great joy and relief, I discovered that even the most beautiful and skinny Russian models have cellulite on their bottoms. I had more opportunities to examine bottoms than I wanted, thanks to the insistence of many a Russian on wearing thong/g-string bikinis.
Of course, we also managed to learn a little about Egypt. Or at least we learned that Egypt has a wine industry. It shouldn't. Nor should it produce beer or spirits. Unfortunately, it does.
All in all, it was a great holiday, with many valuable lessons learned.
Maybe it's the local wine and spirits that have contributed to the longevity of their mummies!
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